"I can’t! Come on! We can all die together!"
Editor(s): Joyce, Mariable
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“Let’s work on how to make Andy walk on the road to ruin.” Tong Kai said with ease.
Guan Yue handed Tong Kai the iPad. “I thought of three plans. You can interrupt and add reinforcements at any time.”
The Jiang house, Jiang Zijian’s bedroom.
Tianhe facepalmed after hearing what had happened. Jiang Zijian dejectedly said, “So that’s it.”
Tianhe, “Uh…this matter…is not so easy to handle.”
Jiang Zijian and Tianhe looked at each other. Tianhe said, “So you didn’t…explain?”
“He wouldn’t open the door!” Jiang Zijian said in despair, “My dad wanted to go to his house to apologize and I had to stop him. Now, my dad is in the middle of writing a draft to publish in the paper to apologize to him! I originally thought of inviting him over to my house for the new year, what should I do now?!”
Tianhe’s curiosity was piqued and he replied, “However, I want to ask about your role assignment problem from last time…”
Jiang Zijian, “Well…he was outraged that I didn’t l-leave my first time for him, but what can I do? I didn’t even know I was going to meet him!”
Tianhe observed Jiang Zijian’s expression. “Oh? So in the end still…”
Jiang Zijian, “He said that although that first time was gone, as long as I was willing to g-give that first time to him, then he would be willing to be with me. Of course I can’t!”
Tianhe thought about it while Jiang Zijian said, “Tianhe, you’ve gotta help me with this.”
Tianhe was about to go crazy, saying, “Exactly how many times have you repeatedly tormented me with this issue between you two! My past incarnation really owed you guys!”
Jiang Zijian said, “You clearly knew who he was but hid it from me for so long, I don’t care! If you don’t think of a way to get him to come to my house for New Year’s Eve dinner, I’ll, I’ll…”
Jiang Zijian thought about it and seemed to have nothing that he could threaten Tianhe with, so he could only breathe a long sigh, “Let me die.”
But Tianhe suddenly thought of an idea and motioned for Jiang Zijian to wait a moment.
The Tong house, living room.
Guan Yue finished talking about his three proposals. Tong Kai grunted a “hmm”, got up, walked over to the piano, and started to play.
Guan Yue knew that this was a sign that he needed to think so he didn’t rush him.
The doorbell rang.
Tong Kai was interrupted and felt annoyed right then. He walked over to the monitor and asked, “Who is it?”
The housekeepers were all asleep, leaving only a dozing night watch attendant for the errands.
“A face scratcher.” Tianhe stood in front of the monitor.
As soon as Tong Kai saw Jiang Zijian behind Tianhe, he immediately said, “Don’t let him in!”
But Guan Yue had already gotten up to open the door. Tong Kai saw that he couldn’t stop him, so he could only run over to the sofa in front of the French window, and lay down, head askew with his left hand slightly twitching.
Guan Yue, “?”
Tianhe was carrying Jiang Zijian’s duffel bag and leading Jiang Zijian as the both of them entered the Tong house in their pajamas. As soon as Jiang Zijian saw Tong Kai, he became nervous and said, “You still haven’t recovered? Weren’t you okay already this afternoon?”
Jiang Zijian rushed over to see what was going on, and Tong Kai crooked his head to the other side, continuing to twitch.
Guan Yue, “……………………”
Tianhe, “Mr. Tong?”
Guan Yue, with a bewildered expression, took a look at Tong Kai and then at Tianhe.
“I’m sorry.” Jiang Zijian knelt with one knee on the ground and said sincerely to Tong Kai, “It’s all my fault, really, you can hit me, scold me, or do anything else to me. It has nothing to do with my gardener.”
Tong Kai tilted his head over and said, “You be the bottom.”
Jiang Zijian sincerely replied, “Except this, everything else is okay.”
Tong Kai’s head turned to the other side again and ignored Jiang Zijian.
Guan Yue, “…”
Tianhe took out an AED from his bag. Jiang Zijian connected it to the outlet with ease while Tianhe explained, “Before coming, we discussed that fighting fire with fire might be able to…”
Guan Yue, “Hurry up and put it down!”
Tong Kai immediately kipped up like a carp jumping out of the water and said, “I’m already healed, everything’s fine! But the crime you committed is clearly unforgivable!”
Jiang Zijian replied, “Okay, tell me what I can do until you’re willing to forgive me?”
Tianhe rubbed the defibrillator together a couple times in his hands and walked towards Tong Kai. As he walked, he said with a smile, “Zijian waited outside your house at night for four hours today. Mr. Tong, I beg for leniency on his behalf since he didn’t mean to do that. Can you do me the favor of forgiving him?”
“H-h-hurry up and put that thing down.” Guan Yue forgot the name but he saw it before on TV. One touch could electrocute a person into bouncing up. He quickly motioned to Tianhe with both hands, “Don’t be rash!” Then, one of his hands swung towards Tong Kai while he said, “What are you doing taking offense at these two?”
Tong Kai fumed with anger and grabbed ahold of Guan Yue, holding Guan Yue’s hand tightly and saying, “I can’t! Come on! We can all die together!”
Guan Yue, “…“
Guan Yue nervously signaled to Tianhe with his eyes, so Tianhe had no choice except to put down the defibrillator. He looked at Guan Yue reproachfully, and thought it was because Guan Yue stood too close or else he would have almost succeeded.
Tong Kai, “Tianhe you can stay. Jiang Zijian, get out!”
Jiang Zijian could only say, “Okay.”
Tianhe’s first plan didn’t work, so he came up with another plan. He put away the defibrillator and said, “How’s the discussion going?”
After Tong Kai confirmed that the defibrillator wouldn’t be in use again, he said, “It’s almost resolved.”
Jiang Zijian left the foyer and still inclined his head to look around while Tianhe said in the living room, “Zijian said that if you don’t forgive him and don’t go to his house for the New Year, he’ll feel really sad.”
Tong Kai, “Are you sure he already left? I feel like you two are conspiring to set a trap for me again!”
Tianhe, “If he feels really sad, then his dad will feel sad, too. Once the whole family starts to feel sad, then they won’t be in the mood to set up the ball on the seventh of the lunar new year.”
Guan Yue’s entire face was gloomy. He raised his hand and made a “go” gesture at Tong Kai. Just let it go, what’s the big deal? Can it be compared with actual business? Hurry up and give in. If you want to be the top, then you can only be subservient, or else sooner or later you’ll be stepped on by thousands of people and trodden on by tens of thousands of people plus one foot won’t ever be able to rise again.
Tong Kai thought about it. If he didn’t forgive Jiang Zijian, then this ball might really be cancelled. If they can’t meet Andy, then the plan will fail and Guan Yue will have to think of another plan. Then, he will also be unable to get the promised 6.5% shares of the Jiang Man Corporation…in that case, he won’t be able to wrangle Jiang Zijian…After going around in a circle, Tong Kai finally conceded and said, “Alright, you can let him in.”
Jiang Zijian let out a sigh of relief as he returned to the living room and said, “I’m sorry.”
Tong Kai was looking at him angrily. Jiang Zijian walked over next to the sofa again and took out a self-defense taser, saying, “I’ll tase myself once to release some of your anger.”
“Don’t!” Everyone said at the same time.
Tong Kai, “Tase yourself! I don’t believe that you’ll actually do it.”
Without another word, Jiang Zijian raised his left hand, pressed the self-defense taser to his right shoulder, tased himself, and collapsed on the spot.
Guan Yue, “…”
Tianhe was a little angry, but after thinking it through, Jiang Zijian was the first to error anyways. Oh well, let him be.
Tong Kai stared in a daze at Jiang Zijian, who was passed out on the sofa. He didn’t know what to say at the moment.
“You see,” Tianhe said, “Zijian is this kind of person. He’s in your care, we’re going home.”
Tong Kai suddenly felt a little sorry, and walked over to Jiang Zijian, looking at him seriously.
Tianhe’s crazy, restrained laughter came from the foyer.
Tong Kai was already a little suspicious and said, “Are you guys tricking me again?”
“We’re not, we’re not!” Tianhe said quickly.
Tianhe and Guan Yue peeked out from the foyer and snuck a glance. Guan Yue turned and left while Tianhe said, “We really didn’t lie to you. That thing is real. We’re just wondering if you’ll tear off Zijian’s pants as soon as we leave hahahaha—”
Outside, Guan Yue honked the horn twice, so Tianhe left quickly as well.
Tong Kai observed for a moment, suspecting that Jiang Zijian was faking it. He shook him, but discovered that Jiang Zijian really remained unconscious. Tong Kai picked up the self-defense taser, and recalling Jiang Zijian’s prior actions, he said to himself, he’s probably not faking it. He gave it a test to confirm. Thus, in a fit of twitches, he, too, collapsed on the spot.
The two of them, one on the sofa and one askew on the floor, lay there for a whole entire night.
On the morning of lunar New Year’s Eve, after the house was tidied, everyone, including all the housekeepers and drivers, went on vacation. Guan Yue stood in the entrance way, and any time a housekeeper came over, he would give out a red packet which had the year-end bonuses inside, saying, “Many thanks for your care in the previous year.”
When Tianyue was in charge during the previous years, he would always deposit the money into everyone’s card. According to the Guan family tradition, every year on the holiday, it was actually Guan Yue’s grandfather who would personally hand out the new year’s money and express his gratitude. After his grandfather could not get around as well anymore, it was left to Guan Yue’s father to express thanks one by one. Tianhe thought to himself, as expected, whatever kind of household one grew up in, those habits would follow throughout one’s life.
Almost everyone was away from home, far or near, they returned to their respective homes to celebrate the Chinese New Year, and wouldn’t return until the Lantern Festival. The huge house quieted down in just a moment.
Aunt Fang went to her friend’s house for the new year. Since she was the last to leave, she marked all of the pre-prepared food in advance. Tonight, Guan Yue promised Jiang Zijian and Tong Kai that they would go to the private club for the New Year’s dinner, so they wouldn’t need to find a chef to come over and make a big deal, while Wu Shun went over to Situ Jing’s home for the new year.
“Why didn’t you talk it over with me first?”
Once everyone left for the most part, Tianhe started to trouble Guan Yue. After they returned home last night, they immediately fell asleep, and as soon as he learned more about the situation, Tianhe was simply angered to death by Guan Yue.
Guan Yue, “I’m talking it over with you right now.”
“How can this be the same?” Tianhe said, “You’ve already promised him!”
Guan Yue, “I could only stabilize him at that time.”
After putting the things in order, Aunt Fang spoke, “Alright, what’s the matter now? Don’t fight during the new year.”
Both Tianhe and Guan Yue turned around in a hurry with a slight bow. Guan Yue carried Aunt Fang’s bag as he saw her off to the gate, then Aunt Fang waved her hand, got in Xiao Liu’s car, and went off to celebrate the new year.
Tianhe, “Stabilize my ass!”
“Is there a difference whose hands the Jiang Man Corporation stock is in?” Guan Yue said, “It’s just holding shares. You go find the stockholders right now and buy it from them one by one, and that pool should be enough.”
“Of course there’s a difference.” Tianhe said, “1% is in my hand, why would I need to sell it to Tong Kai?”
Guan Yue, “You only need to use the share exchange method to exchange 0.5% with Tong Kai. De Lin’s shares, Epeus’s shares, and Yue He’s shares are all okay. You’re unwilling? If you’re unwilling, I’ll turn him down now.”
The Jiang Man shares were from a long time ago when Second Brother, Wen Tianyue, and the Jiang family signed a financing agreement. At that time, the Jiang family needed a piece of land owned by their competitors, so Tianyue registered a company and helped the Jiang family acquire capital. But Tianhe didn’t expect that Tong Kai would go as far as to start calculating against the Jiang family. He kept feeling like there was some sort of shocking conspiracy behind all of this.
On second thought, it wasn’t like Tianhe couldn’t give this 0.5% share to Tong Kai, but he had to figure out the inside information. “Tell me truthfully, what is the actual point of this?”
Guan Yue, “Tong Kai is bullish about Jiang Man and hopes to become a shareholder. This figure, 6%……”
Wen Tianyue lay on the sofa, lazily watching the news, and said, “Baobao, listen to my explanation.”
Tianhe turned to Wen Tianyue, who finally had a chance for revenge.
“Relying on Guan Yue’s operation,” Wen Tianyue explained, “and with great exertion, he can only acquire 6% of the equity shares from the Jiang family for his champion lawyer. He must add on your 0.5% as well before he can reach the 6.5% share ratio.”
“And what kind of notion is 6.5%?” Wen Tianyue said with a smile, “If Tong Kai and little donkey get together and both of them hold equivalent shares, then this way the two of them won’t be able to settle each other.”
Tianhe glanced towards Guan Yue, who said, “Jiang Chaosheng……”
Wen Tianyue continued, “Of course, for now, the largest shareholder is still Jiang Chaosheng himself and he has the final say on the board of directors. But in the future, that will be hard to say la.”
Guan Yue could only say, “Yes, that’s it.”
“You lied to me again!” Tianhe said to Guan Yue.
Guan Yue, “I didn’t lie to you. He cut me off before I could even finish speaking!”
Tianhe walked away in a rage. Guan Yue was ambushed by his second brother-in-law again, which made him want to hack Wen Tianyue to death very badly, but Wen Tianyue only laughed.
Pro, “I think you all really don’t need to fight because of this.”
Tianhe entered the study, his face displeased when he looked at Guan Yue. Guan Yue knocked twice before he entered, and pressed on the table with his body leaning slightly as he looked at Tianhe. Just as he was about to speak, Pro’s voice came from the speaker on the table, “If you really mind, I suggest that you make Guan Yue think of a way to acquire 5% of Delin Livestock……”
“Don’t add to the confusion!” Guan Yue pulled out the plug for the speaker right away.
Tianhe responded, “Very good, we have cheerfully decided on this way. If you help me acquire half of Tong Kai’s shares, letting Zijian be the same as Tong Kai, then I’ll give you the 0.5% shares of Jiang Man.
Guan Yue, “……”
For Guan Yue, after hacking Wen Tianyue to death, the next target will most certainly be Pro.
Pro switched a speaker to speak out of, “I think Guan Yue most certainly wants to hack me to death right now.”
Guan Yue, “………………”
Pro, “But according to my calculations, Tong Kai and Jiang Zijian might not get together.”
Guan Yue and Tianhe were both taken aback right then. Pro continued, “Three successive heirs to the monarchy of The Netherlands have, under the opposition of parliament, willfully chosen to get married so they have declined the right to inherit the throne as king. Next, according to analysis, all the successor candidates who are related to the royal family, from distant to near, will all give up the title. Under the suggestion of parliament, there’s a significant chance that the current king will end up adopting his nephew or male descendant into the royal family, namely Tong Kai.”
Pro, “So in the near future, it’s possible that Tong Kai will be draped in regalia, be crowned by the Archbishop of Utrecht, put on the crown, and become the king of Holland.”
Tianhe suddenly managed to react and burst out laughing, “Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahahahaha!”
Between laughter and tears, Guan Yue went off to the side to pour a drink.
Tianhe laughed so hard he slapped his thigh. “Pro, this is the funniest joke I’ve heard all year! So what you’re saying is that Tong Kai is going to ascend the throne?! Hahahaha……”
Pro, “There’s more than a 90% chance of this. Tianhe, you always treat my predictions like a joke.”
After Tianhe suddenly heard this absolutely ridiculous speculation, he laughed until he had to lie on the desk because he really couldn’t see the connection between Tong Kai and being a country’s king. “This is really too funny hahahahaha! I can’t! Zijian is Holland’s queen! I’ll definitely tell him this good news! Do I need to order a queen’s crown for Zijian? I’ll go prepare it now!”
Guan Yue, “Don’t tease, Baobao. I admit that I didn’t discuss this clearly with you in advance……”
After Tianhe finished laughing, the phone rang and Pro pressed “speaker.”
Jiang Zijian, “Uh……Tianhe, did you guys leave yet?”
Tianhe, “We’re currently discussing how to make a queen’s diamond crown for you.”
Jiang Zijian, “Uh……I found out about something concerning Tong Kai, and it seems like a lot of people know already, but only Tong Kai doesn’t know……Right now, I’m……a little shocked. Tianhe, do you think I need to try practicing my etiquette again?”
Guan Yue, “……………………”
At four o’clock in the afternoon, Guan Yue drove the car to Jiang Yue Club. Tianhe still hadn’t recovered at the moment, and said to Guan Yue, “This isn’t possible, right? It’s too fantastical, right? We’re going to celebrate new year’s with the king of Holland?”
Pro, “Tianhe, from the day we met, my predictions have seldom been wrong.”
Zhang Qiu was lost. “We’re going to have dinner with the king of Holland in a moment?”
Wen Tianyue was also at a loss, saying, “What do you mean? What’s the king doing here? You guys know each other?”
“Shh, shh.” Guan Yue gestured with his hands, indicating for them to not say anything.
Tianhe said, “You two can just pretend you don’t know.”
Zhang Qiu asked, “Should we speak English later? I remember that they can understand English and German. I’ve forgotten most of my German.”
Tianhe, “No, forget that, speaking Chinese is fine.”
Guan Yue got out of the car, and Tianhe entered the private club. Today the club was decorated quite magnificently. The Jiang’s brought out all their antiques, and there was even a “Thousand Mile Landscape” screen from Tianhe’s childhood memories.
“How did Uncle Jiang’s tastes develop in this direction?” Wen Tianyue looked around, saying, “I thought I had entered the Great Hall of the People just now.”
Zhang Qiu calmly replied, “Shut up.”
The whole Jiang family waited at the entrance. Jiang Chaosheng and Guan Yue had never met, but they both already knew each other. Jiang Chaosheng cordially greeted Guan Yue, and came over to throw an arm around Tianyue’s shoulder as the latter brought over the wine he had prepared. Meanwhile, Mother Jiang took Zhang Qiu’s hand, the two of them chatting and laughing. Before Zhang Qiu knew what was happening, she had been pulled away.
Jiang Zijian hurriedly came over to greet Guan Yue and Tianhe, saying, “My dad also said to apologize……to Xiao Kai……”
Even up until now, Tianhe still felt like this was a joke, asking, “Where did you hear this from?”
Jiang Zijian, “One of his younger housekeepers, who came over to try and date our guy who makes Peking duck. I also didn’t dare believe……”
Tianhe said sincerely, “Then congrats to you. You’re going to be queen!”
Jiang Zijian, “I'm a royal consort! Royal consort!”
It was evident Jiang Zijian was slightly unable to accept this, saying, “But then……if I want to top him, is it hopeless now?”
Tianhe said quietly, “As long as you don’t let Hollanders know that you have repeatedly……their king, I feel like it should be alright, and you won’t be impeached.”
Guan Yue finally couldn’t listen anymore and let out a cough.
Jiang Zijian asked another question, “Can they accept that the king is gay?”
Guan Yue answered, “Holland is the first country to legalize gay marriage.”
Pro, “But to analyze from the perspective of public policy (doctrine), perhaps the Dutch people will have a small probability of, towards a melon that is not……”
Tianhe, “Shut up! Where did you learn these kinds of words?!”
Pro, “……and voice some opinions about a royal consort. If you were a queen, then there wouldn’t be any problems.”
Jiang Zijian, “???”
Tong Kai’s car drove in.
“Yo!” Tong Kai got out of the car and said, “May you have a prosperous new year!”
Jiang Zijian suddenly felt somewhat nervous.
“Hi!” Tianhe said, “May you have a prosperous new year.”
Tong Kai brought wine and tea leaves, asking, “What are you guys doing? Aren’t you cold standing outside?”
“It’s really like a timebomb.” Tianhe noticed the GPS tracking collar on Tong Kai’s neck.
Tong Kai said, “Don’t bring it up! I don’t even know if Edgar’s head has been pinned by the door these days!” As he said this, he glanced at Jiang Zijian, saying, “It’s New Year’s, why are your expressions so strange? Are you guys alright?”
“Nothing’s wrong!” Jiang Zijian shot back, “I’ll bring you to meet my mom and dad.”
Tong Kai gave it a thought, took a glance at Guan Yue with a question in his eyes, then Guan Yue made an “OK” gesture which meant the shares were resolved. Meanwhile, Tianhe had a displeased look on his face when he side-eyed Guan Yue, so Guan Yue immediately acted as if nothing had happened.
In the drawing room, Jiang Chaosheng and Jiang Zijian’s mother, Wen Yiling, were chatting idly with Wen Tianyue at the moment. Wen Tianyue didn’t have any of the shame from running away as he talked about leaving behind his brother at home to take the blame, going to North America, Central America, and South America for a round of play before finally being caught by Guan Yue in New Zealand.
Jiang Chaosheng, “Oh, so it was like that. I just knew, sigh……”
When Guan Yue and them came in, Jiang Chaosheng was just observing in all six directions and listening closely so he immediately got up with his wife. Jiang Zijian was a little embarrassed as he said, “Dad, Mom, this is……Xiao Kai.”
Tong Kai, “……”
Zhang Qiu, “……”
Tianhe thought to himself, shit, he forgot that Zhang Qiu and Tong Kai also knew each other.
Very much recommend Nan Zhi dada’s quick transmigration novel: 执一而生（Quick Transmigration）
Joyce is leaving TAT so yeah updates will still be sporadic (2-3 week gap) while we transition, translators: please join Turing pit!
This chapter is migrated and/or formatted by our fellow chicken enthusiast(s), eggy.