And then a copy would be prepared and be transferred to the ‘relevant department.’
Editor(s): Jane, jelly
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"No...nothing." Chi Xiaoduo's face had turned white, and his heart was still thumping wildly.
"What happened?" Yang Xingjie realized something was wrong and asked gravely, "Why did you come out in slippers?"
"Nothing." Chi Xiaoduo changed his mind. He thought that if he called the police through Yang Xingjie right now, it might bring Xiang Cheng a lot of trouble, so for now, he shouldn’t say anything. Instead, he replied, "I was so happy that I forgot to change into my shoes. I wanted to invite you to eat."
"I have some doubts," Yang Xingjie said with a smile.
His smile was very handsome. He sat opposite Chi Xiaoduo, poured tea for him, snapped his fingers, and ordered some snacks. Today was the weekend, and there were a lot of people in the teahouse. It was bustling, and there was a policeman with him, so Chi Xiaoduo gradually relaxed.
Yang Xingjie's observational skills were very sharp, and he asked, "Were you bullied by your roommate?"
"No,” Chi Xiaoduo said with a laugh. "What are you thinking?"
Yang Xingjie said, "You switched to a new cellphone? Let me see. "
Chi Xiaoduo gave him a demonstration, holding his cellphone and opening another window for Yang Xingjie to play with. After chatting for a bit, Yang Xingjie said, "Have you not been in good health recently? I heard Wang-xiong say that you often work overtime. You passed the exam, so take a good break ba. "
"I should take a break." Chi Xiaoduo said with some embarrassment. Suddenly he had an idea and said, "Recently, I often have strange dreams."
"Dreams?" Yang Xingjie raised his eyebrows and said with a smile, "Because it’s spring?"
"No, no, no,” Chi Xiaoduo said, "It's not spring dreams, it's strange...supernatural dreams."
"You don't have enough yang essence."Yang Xingjie said, “Move over and live with me ba.”
"Because I’m a 0?" Chi Xiaoduo said expressionlessly.
Yang Xingjie laughed. Chi Xiaoduo felt that he was being teased, and he said with a straight face, "I often dream of yaoguai, strange black birds...and stuff like that. It has nine heads."
"What you think about during the day, you’ll dream about at night." Yang Xingjie said, "Read a little less shounen manga."
"They feel as though they’re real." Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Do you believe that there are yaoguai in this world?"
Yang Xingjie thought about it and said, "When I was growing up in Hengqin, I heard old people say that there really were yaoguai."
Chi Xiaoduo’s heart lifted up, and he asked, "Why?"
"Every blade of grass, every tree, all the mountains and rivers, they all have their own spirit." Yang Xingjie said, "Because of feng shui and auras, these spirits converge, and when they do, they may be absorbed by animals and produce strange things. However, they won’t be easily seen by us."
Was that so... Chi Xiaoduo thought about it and asked, "Are ghosts also like that?"
Yang Xingjie scrolled through his cellphone and opened up Yahoo.He pulled his chair over, sat down beside Chi Xiaoduo, and said, "Look at this, it’s a post about ghosts."
Yang Xingjie put a hand on Chi Xiaoduo's shoulder and opened a thread about ghosts on his phone.
"From a scientific point of view," Yang Xingjie said, "ghosts are also a kind of natural force. They exist in another dimension of space. It’s just like when you burn paper money in July, no matter where you burn it, even if you burn it in your bedroom, you’ll always feel a gust of wind blowing at the end. That’s your relatives arriving."
"Yes." Chi Xiaoduo thought of those TVB station dramas: as long as paper money was burned, there must be a gust of wind at the end. He couldn’t help his hair standing on end and hurriedly said, “Don’t talk about it anymore!”
Yang Xingjie laughed loudly and turned his head to look at Chi Xiaoduo with spots of red on his face. Chi Xiaoduo was so scared that he had turned pale. Yang Xingjie took advantage of the situation to separate from him, and after drinking a cup of tea, his flush subsided. He joked, "They talk about yaoguai a lot in Japan, but us Chinese don’t talk about them much. We mostly talk about ghosts and gods."
Chi Xiaoduo understood, nodded, and said, “They’re a culture that records their yaoguai."
"Spirits in the mountains and sea come out occasionally." Yang Xingjie said, "In a metropolis, you won’t run into strange things like that. Because there are many people, if there really are yaoguai, they would seldom enter the city."
Chi Xiaoduo let out an “en” and said, "If you ran into them in the city, then would they all be very powerful yaoguai?"
"Maybe." Yang Xingjie said with a smile. "Do you think very powerful yaoguai would target you?" Then Yang Xingjie looked Chi Xiaoduo up and down and said, "Unless you have something on you that the yaoguai wants."
Chi Xiaoduo felt that he was being teased again and looked blankly at Yang Xingjie,
"If there are yaoguai," Chi Xiaoduo thought about it and asked, "what do you think they think of us humans?"
Yang Xingjie thought about it and replied, "I think they would hate humans. What do you think?"
"Why?" Chi Xiaoduo asked.
"Think about it." Yang Xingjie said casually, "Humans’ range of activities is getting larger and larger, and we have occupied all their homes. Places with a good climate, liveable conditions, and easy transportation have all become human cities. We are all city people, and we have no concept and feelings about the land. But you can imagine, it must feel terrible when the homes that you have lived in for generations have been demolished and turned into other people's places. What's more, yaoguai live so long. After hundreds of years, it changes its home, loses it, and changes it again, only be driven away again. Finally, it can only live in places where humans can't go, such as snowy mountains and the plateaus, where no humans live. It’s both lonely and sad, so they must hate us humans to death. "
Chi Xiaoduo thought that this sounded reasonable. If he worked hard all his life, saved money to buy a house, only to have it inexplicably demolished by some people, and he was separated from his family and had to leave his hometown, it would definitely be very painful.
"But yaoguai are so powerful." Chi Xiaoduo said, "When I see them on TV, they even have magic and stuff. If they wanted to cause trouble, wouldn’t it be a matter of minutes?"
"When soldiers come, block them, and when the waters rise, make the banks rise as well." Yang Xingjie casually replied, "Humans also have countermeasures ba. When I was studying in the police academy before, I saw a lot of supernatural cases. Of course, the top-brass wouldn’t explicitly say anything, but many homicide cases, disappearances, and cold cases couldn’t be explained through science, and they were all marked as ‘special cases.’"
Chi Xiaoduo's heart suddenly leaped and he asked, “And then?"
"And then a copy would be prepared." Yang Xingjie said, "And then they would be transferred to the ‘relevant department.’"
"What department?" Chi Xiaoduo asked curiously.
Yang Xingjie shrugged and said, “I don’t know the name of the most mysterious ‘relevant department’ in history."
Chi Xiaoduo knew that there were some secrets involved here, and he definitely couldn’t say any more. Yang Xingjie, however, saw that Chi Xiaoduo didn’t believe him and explained seriously, "Whatever I know, I won’t hide from you, hm? I really don’t know."
"Thank you." Chi Xiaoduo said with a smile.
"You're a tight-lipped person." Yang Xingjie started joking again, "It should be safe to tell you some secrets, but sometimes you start flailing in a panic, so you still need to be a little calmer."
Chi Xiaoduo didn't pay much attention to this sentence. He suddenly remembered that day when he and Xiang Cheng went out to eat Japanese food
“What are your dreams?” Chi Xiaoduo had asked.
“World peace,” Xiang Cheng had said lightly.
Chi Xiaoduo understood in a flash! Xiang Cheng must be part of that "relevant department"! Immediately, everything added up in his heart: maybe he had forgotten those two videos because he had seen Xiang Cheng handle a case, and then was hypnotized!
Xiang Cheng was on the side of justice! Chi Xiaoduo suddenly felt that he had wronged him and was in a bit of a hurry to go home.
"Pack it up ba," Chi Xiaoduo said. He paid the bill along the way and asked Yan Xingjie, "What about you?"
"Going to work." Yang Xingjie rubbed his face and said, "Do you want to have dinner together in the evening?"
"No la, Xiang Cheng still hasn't had breakfast or lunch yet." Chi Xiaoduo said, "I have to go back first."
Yang Xingjie hailed a taxi and sent Chi Xiaoduo off into it. Chi Xiaoduo was laden with anxiety; he felt that he may have wronged Xiang Cheng. Looking back, he saw Yang Xingjie standing on the side of the road. People came and went, and he looked a little lonely.
Chi Xiaoduo waved goodbye to him, but Yang Xingjie didn't see him and left without looking back.
Back at home, the elevator dinged, and Chi Xiaoduo came out holding a takeout box. He saw Xiang Cheng sitting in front of their home, hugging one knee to his chest in a daze. There were only the small black briefs on his body, and he just sat like that, with his long arms and legs.
Chi Xiaoduo: “....”
Xiang Cheng: “....”
“Hurry up and open the door!” Xiang Cheng said with a dark expression.
Chi Xiaoduo’s face was so miserable that it was hard to look at, and he kept apologizing.
Xiang Cheng said instead, “The one who should be saying sorry is me.”
“No, no,” Chi Xiaoduo took the key, opened the door, and said, “It’s me who was wrong.”
"Listen to me." Xiang Cheng pulled his wrist, moved Chi Xiaoduo in front of him, and said, "Don't run away this time. I'm sorry, Xiaoduo. I don't want to lose you as a friend."
Chi Xiaoduo was caught off guard, and being hugged by Xiang Cheng, his ears were pressed against his bare chest. He could feel his warmth and heartbeat; his entire person froze, and he didn’t move at all as he let Xiang Cheng hug him.
"You must be a very good person." Chi Xiaoduo said in a low voice.
After separating, Chi Xiaoduo said to Xiang Cheng, "Let’s go inside first ba."
Xiang Cheng finally got back home. First he put on the sportswear Chi Xiaoduo had bought for him and put away his cellphone in a safe place. Chi Xiaoduo made him have lunch while thinking, why are you putting on clothes so quickly ah, you’ve only been streaking around for a little while, I only got a few glances in.
Xiang Cheng sneezed, as if he had a cold. Chi Xiaoduo said, "I'll get you some medicine."
"It’s fine." Xiang Cheng said, “I can get well on my own. I’m going to tell you some stuff later, but don’t be too surprised when you hear it."
Chi Xiaoduo asked, "What are you going to tell me?"
"Later." Xiang Cheng ate lunch, cleared the dishes, and let Chi Xiaoduo sit down on the sofa, and went in to get something. Chi Xiaoduo watched him curiously. This time, he wasn’t too surprised and waited for Xiang Cheng's explanation.
Xiang Cheng came out with his woven bag in his hand, took out a red bedsheet, shook it out, and spread it on the coffee table.
“I’m an exorcist,” Xiang Cheng said, “If you want to film, then film. Are you filming?”
“Not filming, not filming. This bedsheet….” Chi Xiaoduo said gingerly.
“This isn’t a bedsheet, it’s a Yao-Imprisonment Banner.” Xiang Cheng replied, “Do you remember the guiche?” As he said this, he very seriously pointed to an embroidered nine-headed bird there.
Chi Xiaoduo: “....”
Next, Xiang Cheng took out one thing after another. The first thing he put on the table was a bunch of copper coins.
"This is ancient money." Xiang Cheng said.
"What do you mean?" Chi Xiaoduo curiously reached for it, glanced at Xiang Cheng, and asked, "Can I touch it?"
Xiang Cheng nodded. Chi Xiaoduo saw that four words "mountain, sea, bright, light" were carved around the square hole of the ancient money. He didn't know much about history and didn't know which dynasty had minted this money. Xiang Cheng picked one up, turned it over, and showed Chi Xiaoduo the back.
There were four grotesque faces carved on the back of the coin.
"Exorcist God Wei Hu." Xiang Cheng said, "The shiye of our exorcism department."
Chi Xiaoduo stared wide-eyed and dumbstruck at Xiang Cheng.
"Bright Light over the Mountains and Seas." Xiang Cheng said, "It's talking about a great war between man and the yao clans in ancient times."
"Great war..." The corner of Chi Xiaoduo’s mouth twitched, and he asked, "Are there really yao in this world?"
Xiang Cheng replied, "Yes, and there were also many in ancient times. Five thousand years ago, human beings defeated the yao and devil clans. The yao clans hid in the world and lived together with human beings; however, three thousand years ago, another great war completely destroyed the power of the yao clans.
"Our ancestors worshiped animals and enshrined them as totems; after that great war, humans worshipped gods, but in the end, gods were just the new totems. "
Chi Xiaoduo vaguely came up with an idea in his mind. He was so shocked that he asked, "Three thousand years ago, was it the Shang Dynasty?"
"Yes, it was the Battle of Muye." Xiang Cheng said, "I heard my dad tell this story."
Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Then are there many yao now?"
"Not many." Xiang Cheng replied, "As many divine veins have been polluted and earth veins have been broken, there are fewer and fewer animals that can cultivate into yao, but there are still some."
Chi Xiaoduo's world outlook had already been completely subverted; whatever Marxist philosophy and materialism, all of it had disintegrated in front of him.
Xiang Cheng said, "In order to protect the human world, the exorcist profession has been handed down from our ancestors to protect all of you secretly. We’re just like the police, but we don’t have an establishment like the police."
Saying that, Xiang Cheng's eyes flashed briefly with gloom, and he added, "Now we have an establishment though."
Chi Xiaoduo: “.....”
"This video." Xiang Cheng turned on Chi Xiaoduo's cellphone, waved it at him, and said, "it was recorded when you accidentally discovered me capturing a yao. I thought I had already deleted it, but I didn't expect it to appear again. How did that happen?"
Chi Xiaoduo said very cautiously, "Because I set up the automatic synchronization of my photo gallery... It's like this..."
Chi Xiaoduo held his cellphone in front of Xiang Cheng and explained. The topic immediately jumped from weird goings-on to Apple databases. Xiang Cheng looked at Chi Xiaoduo's operations carefully and said, "It's really magical."
"No, no, yours is more magical." Chi Xiaoduo hurriedly said.
"Yours is a bit more magical." Xiang Cheng said, "Science is even more strange. To tell you the truth, this entire time, I can’t understand how a computer is made. A small box-like thing gets stuck on a board, a mouse gets attached to it, and just like that it can..."
"That’s called a CPU. A CPU is very normal, alright. Only supernatural powers can be called magical ah!” Chi Xiaoduo up until now still couldn’t accept everything that Xiang Cheng had told him. It was like people from two planets with totally different world views coming together and marvelling over something.
Xiang Cheng held the cellphone and said, "Such a small, thin thing, but it’s very colorful, and you can even go online with it, you don’t think it’s very magical?"
“Alright, let's not argue about whose stuff is more magical." Chi Xiaoduo said, "Although I think particle colliders or something are very magical... Science is similar to magic, but it’s just that we are all used to it. Go on ba, I can probably accept a little of what you’re saying."
Xiang Cheng nodded as he took out the snuff bottle, and put it on the bedsheet.
"This is called Lihun Pollen. With just a little bit, you can forget what you were just thinking about, as well as the causes and consequences of the matter. For example, if you see me catching a yao, you will always be thinking about that. At this time, if you smell some Lihun Pollen, then as if following the vine to the melon, you will forget everything about this matter. It's especially effective for people who have just fallen asleep, because after falling asleep, our minds will automatically recall what happened before we went to bed. "
Chi Xiaoduo opened his mouth and suddenly saw the light.
Xiang Cheng said, "So when you were curious about this bottle, you were thinking of that, and then you sniffed and sniffed….until in the end you used up all of my Lihun Pollen."
"This is the Yao Binding Rope." Xiang Cheng took out a roll of red yarn.
"The Yao Subduing Staff."— a metal staff.
"The Soaring Dragon Umbrella." Xiang Cheng showed Chi Xiaoduo that long black umbrella with its metal parts all sticking out.
Chi Xiaoduo: “....”
"Stone Guardians." Xiang Cheng opened his hand and showed Chi Xiaoduo, "They can only be used for a short time. After that, they must be put under the sun again to recharge their energy."
"Talismans." Xiang Cheng opened up the coarse paper and showed it to Chi Xiaoduo. Then he took out a stack of red paper and said, "Red talismans."
Chi Xiaoduo: “.....”
"What's the difference between talismans and red talismans?" Chi Xiaoduo raised his hand and asked.
"The red ones are a little more powerful." Xiang Cheng replied, "We have to hold back on using them a bit."
It turned out that they were Talismans+. Chi Xiaoduo understood.
"This is..." Xiang Cheng said to Chi Xiaoduo while taking out a bag of soybeans.
Chi Xiaoduo sat beside Xiang Cheng while hugging his knees and said, "I know this one, they’re soybeans!"
"Smart." Xiang Cheng said.
Chi Xiaoduo was confused and asked, “But what's the use of soybeans?”
Xiang Cheng put down the soybeans and made a "scattering seeds" motion, and Chi Xiaoduo suddenly realized what was going on with that.
"And this one?" Chi Xiaoduo took out a black pillow from the woven bag and waved it around. Xiang Cheng blushed and grabbed it quickly from him. Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Is this a Devil Crushing Pillow?"
"No,” Xiang Cheng, with a red face, put the things back into the woven bag and said, "It's just a normal pillow."
Chi Xiaoduo: “.....”
"Is this a Yao Capturing cloth? Why is it the Hushubao brand?"
"... I use it for my insoles..."
Xiang Cheng collected everything and asked, "Do you believe me now?"
"I believe you." Chi Xiaoduo let out a “heh heh,” and then his expression changed. He almost sent the table flying, mountains toppling and seas overturning in his heart. He roared internally, like hell I believe you ah! What the hell is all this ah! There’s even scattering soybeans to become soldiers! You can collect yao just by wrapping them in a red bedsheet, do you think you’re Buddha?!
"Heh heh heh heh..." Chi Xiaoduo's mouth twitched unnaturally, and he thought, at least you could demonstrate something ba. Like let’s say, something that violates Newton’s laws of physics. You don't need to put a disk behind you to shine all over the sky, and it’s too difficult to set up a hexagram to summon up a devil king from another world, but at least you can perform a skill to make cups fly!
Outside the window, a bird called out, and the silver bird flew in.
"This is my companion." Xiang Cheng said to Chi Xiaoduo, "It’s called A-Huang."
"But isn't it white?" Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Why do you call it A-Huang?"
Xiang Cheng shook his head and said, "That's what my father called it; it was at my side before I was even born." Then he whistled at the little bird and said, "It's a phoenix, watch."
In a flash, Chi Xiaoduo’s his wish to see a scene that violated Newton's laws of physics was finally realized, and the door of a new world was opened to him.
The little silver white bird lazily spread its wings. Its wings radiated with light, and beautiful motes of light flew out. Chi Xiaoduo stretched out his hand to catch some, and the silver light motes were like a river of stars, spinning in the living room to form a light band. As soon as the bird furled its wings, the light band flew away and scattered.
"I'll take you to a place." Xiang Cheng said, "Once you go, you’ll believe me."
"No need." Chi Xiaoduo immediately said, "I already believe. Defender of world peace and protector of the human realm, male god, please accept a kowtow from me!"
Xiang Cheng: “.....”
“It’s not to make you believe me.” Xiang Cheng said, “I have to go ask about something. Let’s go ba. "
Xiang Cheng put the exorcist equipment into a sports bag one by one and led Chi Xiaoduo out. While they were putting on their shoes, he asked, "Xiaoduo, do you have any other questions? Don't speak randomly after we go out."
"Yes." Chi Xiaoduo's only question, which had been bothering him for a long time, could finally be asked. He asked weakly, "So your real job is an exorcist, and the male public relations is just a fake job? In other words, you’re not actually in male public relations?"
"I am an oil masseuse. I didn’t want to be an exorcist anymore and wanted to change professions, so I just happened to enter this job. I don't do anything illegal." Xiang Cheng replied.
Chi Xiaoduo thought, thank god and the heavens. At that moment, he was completely revitalized. Who cares what your job is, just don't be a duck, and it’s all okay. No… exorcist, this profession was… Chi Xiaoduo still kind of felt like he was dreaming and couldn’t entirely accept it. But a new knowledge system and world outlook had already gradually entered his life.
You must know that as a college student who grew up influenced by Marxist theories, it was too miraculous to accept things like collecting yao.
Xiang Cheng took Chi Xiaoduo onto the road by bike. Chi Xiaoduo then asked, "Then why did you want to do male public relations?"
"Before I came to Guangzhou, I felt tired." Xiang Cheng replied, "I wanted to be an ordinary person."
"Why?" Chi Xiaoduo looked up at Xiang Cheng's side profile.
When passing a red light, Xiang Cheng stepped on the ground with his left foot, put his right hand around Chi Xiaoduo's waist on the front bar, put his left hand on the handlebars of the bike, and said while lost in thought, "There’s no money, and you lead a wanderer’s life."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Chi Xiaoduo asked.
"I was lonely." Xiang Cheng said, "Originally, we shouldn’t tell regular people these things, but you were nice to me and didn’t look at me with different eyes."
Chi Xiaoduo said with a laugh, “Exco…”
"Shh." Xiang Cheng put his fingers on his lips and made a silencing gesture.
"Don't you have colleagues?" Chi Xiaoduo asked, "You could also be with colleagues ah."
"They look down on me." Xiang Cheng said casually, "They’re always elbowing me out."
Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Since you’re telling me all this, will I be captured and be forced to smell Lihun Pollen?"
Xiang Cheng hesitated and said, "You count as half of a concerned party, so they shouldn’t do that now. What happens in the future, we’ll talk about later."
Chi Xiaoduo: “???”
Xiang Cheng took Chi Xiaoduo across several roads and rode the bike for a full half hour. During this time, he didn’t talk any more, and within the rivers and seas of Chi Xiaoduo’s heart, a storm brewed. Finally, they stopped at the gate of an alley. Xiang Cheng locked up the bike and entered a Shaxian Snacks shop with Chi Xiaoduo.
"What are you..." Kuang Desheng was cleaning a table and straightened up, frowning slightly.
"Looking into a case." Xiang Cheng said, "Xiaoduo, this is Kuang-ge."
Kuang Desheng: "You can’t bring him in! Xiao Xiang!”
Xiang Cheng ignored him and let Chi Xiaoduo walk in front of him into the basement kitchen of the Shaxian Snack store. Chi Xiaoduo was baffled; there were traces of black oily smoke everywhere. Kuang Desheng chased them downstairs, and Xiang Cheng pulled open a cabinet in the kitchen and said, "Go in."
Chi Xiaoduo: “???”
Xiang Cheng pushed Chi Xiaoduo in. Kuang Desheng chased them into the kitchen and said, "Wait! Xiang Cheng! You'll get me punished!”
Xiang Cheng pulled and closed the door. As the light in the stainless steel cabinet disappeared, Xiang Cheng reached out and slapped the wall. His finger hooked into a ring, and then he pulled it up and rotated it at an angle. The wall began to glow.
Chi Xiaoduo: “.....................................................”
Xiang Cheng pushed the wall, and a strange array appeared on it. The lines on the array crisscrossed and emitted a red light. Then, Xiang Cheng held Chi Xiaoduo, pressed his head, and made him tuck himself into his shoulder.
The magical array let out a weng sound and sucked them in.
Kuang Desheng ran to the cabinet and pulled the door open. It was empty.
Their surroundings brightened, and as Chi Xiaoduo looked up from Xiang Cheng’s shoulder, he found himself facing a strange new world.
Juurensha: Welcome to the Exorcism Department, CXD!
This chapter is migrated and/or formatted by our fellow chicken enthusiast(s), juurensha.