Extra 2.1 - Mid Autumn 2018: Lang Li Ge Lang

Crossover


"Now can all the gongs please stand and move three steps forward."


Content Warning:
This extra is set after the main story of each novel. There will be bits of spoilers here and there, nothing major, usually just referred to in passing, so I think if you haven't read the said novel, you'll most likely be fine! Knowledge of all these novels is not required. For easier reading, click here for the character's guideline! Like Feitian's other Mid-Autumn extras, this is Just Crack………… 

Translator(s): Zryuu, keishi, beansprout, yunyun, moon, Miri, Jelly
TLC(s): Elestrea
Editor(s): cytaoplasm, juurensha, Jelly, opal

Always support our Chicken Lord by buying the original work whenever you can! Link for each platform's guide to purchase the raws can be seen on our FAQs.

Mid-Autumn Festival.

Zhou Sheng: "???"

Yu Hao: "?"

"Where is this?" Zhou Sheng looked down at his Great Sage get-up. He was wearing a suit of golden armor and a war skirt, as well as Taotie war boots —— he had resumed his dreamscape appearance.

 

Yu Hao looked at the wings on his back with a puzzled expression. They were standing at the starting line of a wide track; fire rings of various sizes were spaced about five to ten meters apart in the air above the track. The fire rings were glowing with warm light, and there was a trampoline just a few steps ahead on the ground.

The end of the track was hidden in the thick layers of fog, nowhere to be seen.

 

Yu Hao asked, "Hasn't the Golden Crow Wheel lost its power? Why are we still having this sort of dream?"

Zhou Sheng was filled with doubts too. He and Yu Hao were supposed to be celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival with their friends today, and they hadn't even had the time to finish preparing the ingredients they had bought in the morning. At noon, Yu Hao had felt sleepy, so Zhou Sheng went over to cuddle him for a short nap, and now they were suddenly pulled into this dream out of nowhere.

 

Ever since the Golden Crow Wheel had lost all its powers, Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng had never experienced such a clear dream. Yu Hao tried to release the Silver Moon Wheel to awaken Zhou Sheng, but Zhou Sheng grasped Yu Hao's wrist and said, "No need to rush, let's just see how it goes first."

Yu Hao asked, "How long will this dream last? We're still celebrating the festival later."

Zhou Sheng observed the trampoline and fire rings on the track, then shouted into the air, "Is there anyone here? The hell are you guys up to?! What's all this about? You want us to go through the fire rings?"

 

"Welcome, my dear Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao."

A voice rang out through the air. Yu Hao retreated a little, and Zhou Sheng immediately stood in front of him to shield him.

"It's my first time meeting you two," that voice continued in a serious and sincere tone. "Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Prometheus, but you can call me Pro or P3. Strictly speaking, I'm the third generation of an AI software used for quantitative trading, modeled after a man named Guan Yue…"

Yu Hao: "???"

Zhou Sheng: "......"

"...this outstanding human specimen has endowed me with a set of rich human emotions, allowing me to…"

Yu Hao cut in, "Hold on, this brother here… although I don't know who you are, or what you're talking about, can I interrupt you for a moment?"

Zhou Sheng added, "What the hell is all this?"

Pro continued, "...a company called Epeus developed me and let me obtain…"

Yu Hao cried out, "Stop!"

Zhou Sheng yelled, "What the fuck you are has nothing to do with this laozi! Let us out now!"

Pro replied, "Gentlemen, please don't refuse the carrot just to get a stick."

Yu Hao: "..."

 

After a moment of silence, Pro continued, "Well, let's make a long story short. Both of you have obtained an honorable and important task today. Next, I would like one of you to embrace the other…"

The corners of Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao's mouths twitched.

Zhou Sheng yelled, "I wanna get out! Let me leave this dream! OK?"

Pro replied, "As long as the two of you cooperate, I'll release you for your celebration very soon."

Yu Hao gestured to Zhou Sheng with his eyes, meaning that they should try and cooperate with him, so Zhou Sheng could only walk over and hug Yu Hao. Both of them stood at the starting point with an indifferent expression as they hugged each other.

Pro said, "No, please use a different kind of 'embrace' —— carry him bridal style."

 

Yu Hao struggled to carry Zhou Sheng, and Zhou Sheng just looked embarrassed.

"Never mind, I'll carry you…" Zhou Sheng said.

Yu Hao protested, "I… can do it."

Yu Hao carried Zhou Sheng bridal style with much difficulty and walked towards the end of the track, saying through clenched teeth, "Hurry, what's next?"

Pro said, "I sincerely suggest for the two of you to swap."

Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng blew their tops. "Cut the crap! What else do you want us to do?"

Pro said, "OK then. Next, beginning from the starting point, I'd like for you to start running."

With Zhou Sheng in his arms, Yu Hao staggered as he ran a few steps forward.

 

Pro's voice continued to reverberate through the air, "Do you see the fire rings in the air? When you pass by them, please throw the wife in your arms up, letting him go through the fire ring, and then continue running forward. Please take note of the timing of when they fall so that you can catch them…"

Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao yelled, "ARE YOU NUTS——!"

Pro replied, "Gentlemen, please hurry. Don't even think about leaving if you don't complete your task. I don't wish to waste too much time here either."

Zhou Sheng: "..."

Yu Hao asked, "Can we leave this ridiculous dream once we're done?"

Pro sincerely said, "I guarantee you both that it will be done."

Yu Hao tried to throw Zhou Sheng up, and Zhou Sheng instantly shouted, "Ai, you really threw me?!"

Zhou Sheng flew ten centimeters up, tumbled, and almost fell onto the ground. Pro said, "You should listen to my advice."

 

Without another word, Zhou Sheng switched to carrying Yu Hao, and Pro said, "Now, that's right."

Music started blaring on the track, and the song "American Patrol" started to play. Zhou Sheng roared, "Is this the Nintendo circus?!"

Pro said, "Correct."

Yu Hao cried, "Why is there BGM?!"

Zhou Sheng started running on the track as he carried Yu Hao and shouted, "Go up!"

Along with the beat of the music, Yu Hao unfurled his wings and flew through the first fire ring, and landed into Zhou Sheng's arms before they continued running forward.

Pro said, "Well done! I just knew you two would succeed."

Zhou Sheng demanded, "What the hell is this?!"

Yu Hao said, "Ignore him, hurry up!"

 

Zhou Sheng threw Yu Hao up with the music playing in the background. Yu Hao passed through the fire ring, fell down, then Zhou Sheng caught him, continued running, and threw him up again. Yu Hao tumbled in mid-air, passing through the fire ring as he laughed, "Are you guys crazy?"

Pro said, "Please pay attention to the trampoline in front of you."

Zhou Sheng jumped onto the trampoline and bounced off with Yu Hao. As the two of them flew in mid-air, Yu Hao almost bumped into a fire ring. He could even smell a burnt scent wafting from his wings, but when he fell, he was caught by Zhou Sheng again.

 

The mellifluous music never stopped throughout. Both of them kept up their momentum of throwing, catching, throwing, and catching. Yu Hao was disoriented from all the throwing, while Zhou Sheng was trying arduously to catch his breath. After passing through twelve fire rings, Zhou Sheng jumped onto a trampoline and grabbed Yu Hao by his waist mid-air. They passed through a blanket of fog and landed on a platform.

Zhou Sheng panted. "Huhu…"

Yu Hao's vision was spinning as he tried to survey their surroundings. "Okay, you can let us leave this place now, right?"

 

Pro's voice sounded quite happy as he said, "This system seems to be quite perfect so far. Thank you for being such enthusiastic trial participants."

Yu Hao yelled, "Who was being enthusiastic?!"

Zhou Sheng huffed. "Cu… cut the crap. Hurry, I still gotta go back to cook dinner!"

Pro said, "Here, take this."

A burst of light shone in mid-air, and Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng were both taken aback. They saw the rainbow-colored light disappear with a whoosh, and a few pieces of paper fell.

"This is your script for later," Pro said.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Zhou Sheng said in a hurry. "What are you giving this to us for?"

Yu Hao: "???"

Pro said, "You've worked hard… Coming up next, let us welcome the official competitors! We look forward to your performances!"

Suddenly, the stage was engulfed in blinding lights that stretched for thousands of miles. Trumpets blared out in the background, so loudly it made the heavens and the earth shake. The whole stage flashed with golden lights, and all the fog dispersed. From the first to the sixth racing track, human silhouettes were slowly revealed one by one, showing a total of twelve people.

 

Lane #1:

Lü Bu: "???"

Qilin: "?"

 

Lane #2:

Xiang Cheng: "??"

Chi Xiaoduo: "What happened? Where is this?"

 

Lane #3:

Li Qingcheng: "......"

Zhang Mu: "......"

 

Lane #4:

Lu Zhou: "?"

Xiao Yi: "Where is this? Who are you guys?"

 

Lane #5:

Li Jinglong: "What happened?"

Hongjun: "What?"

 

Lane #6:

Meng Feng: "What's going on?"

Liu Yan: "?"

 

Pro said, "Come and read your scripts ba."

Yu Hao read, "The autumn breeze… brings along a refreshing feeling. It's the September of golden autumn."

Zhou Sheng continued, "Autumn days are approaching. On this very special day, we are joined by a grand lineup of outstanding folks."

Yu Hao read, "Welcome, distinguished guests who have visited us. This year's Mid-Autumn Festival is a combination of an outdoor social gathering and an exhibition game."

Zhou Sheng announced, "The first round, the track-meet, will now commence!"

 

Pro said, "Up next, everyone please listen to my instructions. Please pick up your wife and hold them; upon hearing the gun signal, start running. Then, throw your wife into the air and through a fire ring. Note that when you catch him, you must not let their face land onto the ground. Understood?"

Everyone at the starting line exploded.

"Understood my ass!" Lu Zhou yelled, "Can anyone explain, what the hell is going on here?"

Xiao Yi demanded, "How come there are even ancient costumes this year? Yi? It's you? Xiaoduo! Hello! We meet again!"

Chi Xiaoduo exclaimed, "Ah! It's you two! Why are you two here again?"

Li Jinglong turned to Hongjun and said, "Which magical artifact did you recklessly touch this time?"

Hongjun was confused. "I didn't ah! I was just taking an afternoon nap."

Pro's voice cut through the air, "I suggest to you all that you do not waste too much of your time here."

 

Zhang Mu quietly picked up Li Qingcheng, held him in bridal style and faced the racing track.

"That's right," Pro's voice permeated the stadium. "Learn from this brave competitor."

Sitting on one side, Lü Bu was munching on snacks and curiously studying the bunch of people. Qilin looked at Lü Bu, then looked at the others.

"I think I saw you last year," Hongjun said to Li Qingcheng.

Li Qingcheng, who was being embraced by Zhang Mu, nodded his head doubtfully.

Li Jinglong commented, "Seems suspicious."

Hongjun lifted his arms for an embrace, and Li Jinglong held him in a bridal carry. The three groups from Team Ancient each got ready on their own.

 

A voice came from Hongjun's chest, "Is it time to eat? Where is this place?"

The carp yao rested on Hongjun's chest, tilting his head. He glanced at the fire rings and shouted with joy, "Eating grilled meat for dinner? This is great!"

Hongjun said, "Eat your head! Quick, don't talk anymore."

 

Pro said, "Everyone get ready——"

Only Li Jinglong and Zhang Mu were embracing their wives and standing at the starting line. Lü Bu was still curiously looking around; Liu Yan, Chi Xiaoduo, and Xiao Yi were, for some reason, engaging in small talk, while Meng Feng, Xiang Cheng, and Lu Zhou were staring into the distance with strange expressions on their faces. Qilin watched for a while, wanting to go over and join them. He signaled Lü Bu to remain squatting where he was, lest he romped around all over the place. 

Pro then remarked to himself, "It seems that you all are very much unwilling to cooperate."

"How could they cooperate?" Zhou Sheng stood on the stage, looking at the competitors below and saying, "If they did cooperate with you, they were probably possessed!"

 

Li Jinglong shouted, "Begin the competition quickly! What exactly do you want us to do?"

Pro said, "Based on your performance later, after the competition ends, we will grant 'a wish' as the Mid-Autumn Festival's grand reward."

Lü Bu heard this and wasted no time. He immediately charged over, scooped Qilin up into his arms, held him in a bridal carry, and joined the others.

"Are you serious?" Meng Feng asked.

"AIs cannot lie," came Pro's friendly voice. "Therefore I have never lied."

Chi Xiaoduo doubtfully said, "Seems unlikely to me."

Zhou Sheng announced, "Now, please hold your wives up, and position yourselves at the starting line."

The bunch of people was still in a half-believing and half-doubting state, but rushed to get ready anyway. 

 

Zhou Sheng scrutinized the six racing tracks in the distance and said to Yu Hao, "Who the hell are they?"

Yu Hao read, "Everyone, please wait for the starting pistol. Do not crowd around."

 

After a few seconds of silence.

Pro announced, "Three, two, one, peng!"

Everyone: "......"

Pro announced again, "Peng! The race has started."

Meng Feng demanded, "Where's the gunshot? How can you just make a 'peng' sound with your mouth like that!"

Lu Zhou yelled, "Hurry up and start the race ba!"

Pro said, "Already started."

 

The voice faded out and "American Patrol" resumed playing. Yu Hao, upon seeing everyone still staring blankly at one another, immediately added, "Run! Everyone, run to the finish line!"

Zhou Sheng, an onlooker not afraid of adding oil to the fire, then shouted out, "One wish ah! One wish, so you all better run quickly! First come, first serve!"

As the music played, Xiang Cheng carried Chi Xiaoduo and Lü Bu carried Qilin. Both were in the lead. Zhang Mu carried a stone-faced Li Qingcheng, and Hongjun, who was carried by Li Jinglong, followed closely behind. Meng Feng carried Liu Yan like a potato sack on his shoulder, speedily catching up. Finally, in the last place, was Lu Zhou piggy-backing Xiao Yi.

"Contestant #4 and Contestant #6, your carrying positions are wrong," Pro said. "I suggest you change to the bridal-carry position."

"Shut up!" Lu Zhou and Meng Feng shouted at the same time.

 

As the competitors approached the first fire ring, amidst the music, Zhou Sheng said, "Okay, now throw your wives up together!"

Everyone: "......"

Yu Hao said, "Contestant #4, Xiao Yi, has touched the ground, deducting one point. Contestant #6, Liu Yan, you're rolling in the wrong direction……"

Everyone: "......"

Lü Bu threw Qilin up and through the loop, then caught him firmly in his arms. Zhou Sheng clapped his hands and said, "Beautiful!"

Xiao Yi asked, "Why is there also BGM? Zhou-ge, we are in the last place!"

Lu Zhou was immediately enraged. For a moment he forgot why the hell he would participate in this kind of race and shouted, "Watch me catch up!"

 

Pro said, "Next up, I shall pass the time over to our two hosts."

Six giant screens appeared on the stage, showing the competitors' names and their respective groups.

Zhou Sheng began his commentary, "It's here, it's here, the mid-air throws! Let's have some close-ups. Who will be the first to reach the finish line! As of now, Team Tianbao is way ahead in the lead! Li Jinglong, with solid technical abilities, throws his wifey into the air, and his wifey then throws a carp up. A perfect display of teamwork to get through the third fire ring!"

Yu Hao: "......"

Zhou Sheng continued, "But we have reason to suspect that Li Jinglong's wife from Team Tianbao is the lightest —— Team Exorcist is now catching up! Xiang Cheng has tossed Chi Xiaoduo up into the air! Behind him, Zhang Mu, not to be outdone, is hot on their heels!"

Yu Hao exclaimed, "Careful, careful! Don't run into each other! Another team is catching up from behind!"

Zhou Sheng said, "Lü Bu is catching up too! Wait, Lü Bu? Why is Lü Bu here? Never mind, forget it! Lü Bu and Zhang Mu have performed for us a splendid show of passing two wives through the hoops simultaneously…"

"Amazing!" Yu Hao exclaimed.

Zhou Sheng said, "Behind them, we see Meng Feng and Liu Yan of Team 2013. This hero has completely disregarded the rules of the competition and has chosen to implement a shoulder carry! He's racing ahead fast, but Liu Yan is struggling. I think the hero will be forced to kneel on a washboard when he gets home…"

Yu Hao said, "Contestant #5 is now leading by a considerable margin! He's already on the trampoline!"

Zhou Sheng immediately turned to look. "A mistake! Li Jinglong has made a mistake! Oi, Kong Hongjun, why are you using wings?"

Hongjun spread his wings in midair and caught Li Jinglong from the trampoline. He then began to leap in the air, one step after another. "It didn't say in the rules that I'm not allowed to use wings!"

"Wings are allowed," Pro declared.

 

"A dragon has appeared at the scene!" Yu Hao announced.

Zhou Sheng said, "Ah, that's right! As soon as Team Exorcist heard they were allowed to fly, the contestant transformed into a dragon and flew through the large fire hoop with his wife on his back—— now they've taken the lead! They've flown through seven hoops in a row… Another dragon?! Again?"

"A second dragon has appeared at the scene! It's a golden dragon!" Yu Hao cried.

Zhou Sheng said, "Ah… looks like Contestant #1, Lü Bu, is not to be outdone either. He has transformed into a golden dragon and is trundling through the air while carrying his wife. He's caught up! An azure dragon and a golden dragon —— today's grand champion will be one of these two!"

 

"This is a rare spectacle, 'two dragons playing with a pearl'," Pro mused.

Zhou Sheng said, "That's not right, is it? In the proverb 'two dragons playing with a pearl,' the dragons only play with one pearl. Here, they're clearly playing with two." 

Yu Hao said, "The peacock in the back might have a chance too!"

Lü Bu and Xiang Cheng roared in unison. They twisted through the flaming hoops and arrived at the platform at almost the same instant. They wheeled around, caught their respective wives in midair, and landed on the ground.

 

Lü Bu said, "Thanks, my wish is…"

Pro interrupted, "The award ceremony hasn't started yet. Please wait."

"We got here first, didn't we?" Xiang Cheng asked.

Yu Hao said, "We'll playback the video recording later. The other contestants haven't gotten up here yet…"

"The third-place contestant has reached the finish line! Our bronze medalist has been born!" Zhou Sheng announced.

Hong Jun retracted his wings and descended onto the platform, carrying Li Jinglong in his arms. He glanced around, sizing up the others curiously.

 

Zhou Sheng said, "There are three teams remaining! Go, go, go! You can do it! Zhang Mu! You don't need to move so carefully. Be more daring! Throw him up, throw him up!"

Zhang Mu: "……"

Yu Hao said, "Zhang Mu has already reached the third trampoline. He's giving the final push. Meng Feng is catching up too!"  

With their respective wives in their arms, Zhang Mu and Meng Feng dashed past the finish line.

"Alright, only one pair left. They've just made it past the seventh fire hoop," Zhou Sheng declared.

Lu Zhou: "Huff… Huff…"

Xiao Yi: "……"

 

Pro said, "Congratulations, Lu Zhou. The wish is yours."

Everyone promptly exploded. "What?!"

Pro explained, "The team in the last place gets to have one wish fulfilled."

"You were screwing with us?!" Lü Bu bellowed.

"Don't get worked up!" Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng yelped at the same time. "This has nothing to do with us! We're victims here too!"

The scene immediately devolved into chaos. At last, Lu Zhou finally made it over, carrying Xiao Yi.

"What were you saying just now?" he panted.

"Calm down, calm down," Pro soothed.

 

Meng Feng said, "Uh… come, come, come, could you please explain?"

Liu Yan complained, "Every Mid-Autumn, I always get these bizarre dreams. Last year, it was climbing pyramids. This year, it's jumping through rings of fire?"

"Everyone, quiet please. Calm down. Every team gets to make a wish. I only said that previously in order to encourage the last contestant," Pro explained.

"Oh——" the crowd chorused.

"But you just said you wouldn't trick anyone," the carp yao pointed out.

"Get this carp away from here," Pro ordered. "Or else the gala can't go on."

Zhou Sheng said, "I want to get myself away from here! How do I do it?"

Pro replied, "If you say 'away with you,' there's a high chance it'll be expelled."

Zhou Sheng yelled, "Away with you, carp!"

The carp yao cried out. With a bang, it vanished into gold dust.

 

The BGM finally stopped, and everyone let out a breath. Xiang Cheng looked at Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng standing off to the side, pondering and sizing them up.

"Don't ask me." Zhou Sheng raised his hands. "I'm new. I'm not clear on what happened here."

Li Qingcheng said suspiciously, "I clearly heard you having a conversation with this mysterious voice in the air."

Pro said, "My name is Pro. OK, next, everyone please sit down."

 

On the platform, a circle of chairs appeared and a banner unfurled:

"Mid-Autumn Festival Meeting."

Lü Bu said angrily, "What about the wish?!"

Pro said, "Everyone, don't panic… You'll get them in a moment."

Qilin gestured for Lü Bu to take a seat. Everyone all sat one after another.

 

Yu Hao was still flipping through the script. "Now can all the gongs please stand and move three steps forward."

Everyone: "......"

Lü Bu got up first, saying, "All of you cooperate, and we'll get our wish."

When Qilin saw that Lü Bu was being so proactive, he could only say, "Yes, yes. Everyone cooperate."

 

Everyone could only get up one after another and take three steps forward. 

Yu Hao said, "Then… crouch down."

Zhang Mu: "?"

 

Pro said, "It's not time to eat yet, and there aren't any bowls for you. Wives, take note of the video game controller that appeared in your hands…"

"Who are your wives?!" Li Qingcheng exploded. 

Yu Hao asked, "Are you the host or am I the host?"

Pro demurred, "You're the host."

Zhou Sheng said, "If you want to be the host so much, then step up."

 

After a moment of silence, Xiang Cheng, Lu Zhou, Zhang Mu, Lü Bu, Li Jinglong, and Meng Feng got down on one knee one after another. Immediately after, a ring of light descended from above and shrouded everyone with a whoosh. The six men disappeared together within the ring of light.

The "wives" sitting in their seats immediately all blew their tops and yelled, "Where are they?" They rose while rolling up their sleeves, about to throw fists. Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng said hurriedly, "It's got nothing to do with us! We're also victims!"

 

Then, a ring of screen appeared in the center of the platform, and the six men appeared on the screen. 

Zhou Sheng: "Pay attention to your controllers. The 3v3 Horizon Valley is about to begin."

The shous: "???"

 

"Ah," Chi Xiaoduo said. "I know how to do this!!"

As he was saying this, a huge map appeared on the surface of the screen. They each split up into two groups, while Zhou Sheng took a look at the script and said, "Everyone, please familiarize yourselves first with the operating system, because right after, you all will need to direct your husbands to gain victory in the Horizon Valley Match."

"Alright, alright, alright," Xiao Yi said. "I like this one, we'll definitely win."

Liu Yan asked, "Us three in one group?"

Chi Xiaoduo replied, "Yep yep."

 

The three of them, holding the controllers, sat down together, focusing on the screen. Chi Xiaoduo moved the joystick, and the Xiang Cheng on the screen began to move his arms and legs. Liu Yan began to buy weapons for Meng Feng, and on the screen, Meng Feng shouted, "Not this one! Liu Yan, buy the cannon!"

Liu Yan replied, "We don't have the money!"

Xiao Yi began to play dress-up with Lu Zhou, and on the game screen Lu Zhou said, "Buy one with a high agility!"

Xiao Yi replied, "That one doesn't look good. Trust me, this one has a high magic power."

Chi Xiaoduo asked, "Who's tanking? Who's DPSing?"

Liu Yan replied, "Let Meng Feng be it ba."

Meng Feng said, "Lu Zhou will go."

Lu Zhou asked, "Why should I be the one?"

Xiang Cheng said, "Don't argue, all of you listen to our leaders' direction! 

 

On the other side, of the three people on Team Ancient, Li Qingcheng began to move the joystick, pushing a Zhang Mu whose head swirled with fog around and around on the screen. Qilin began to move Lü Bu, and Hongjun, with his head filled with question marks, was controlling Li Jinglong and making him slam repeatedly into the wall not far from the starting point.

Li Jinglong yelled, "Hey! Hey! Why is my body not listening to me…"

"You go give them some guidance." Zhou Sheng couldn't bear to watch it any longer, and he quickly had Yu Hao go over to teach them. After a lot of difficulty, Yu Hao finally taught the three of them, and Hongjun said a "thanks" before beginning to control Li Jinglong, following behind Lü Bu.

Li Jinglong said, "Don't make me follow him."

Yu Hao suggested, "You should buy your husband an outfit… no no, no need to strip him!"

Qilin reached over, saying, "Press here to buy an outfit."

After Li Qingcheng finished outfitting Zhang Mu, he scooted over to watch Hongjun and said, "Your man will use the bow and arrow, your… that bearded one will be in the front, and Mu-ge will be in charge of assassination."

"Okay," Hongjun said.

"Alright!" Qilin had no objections at all.

 

Zhou Sheng asked, "Are you all ready?"

Yu Hao felt that the situation was really a little absurd as he watched the group staring intently at the screen. Qilin managed to find some spare time and shouted, "We're ready!"

Zhou Sheng held the script:

"The second segment —— the Horizon Valley Match will now begin! Everyone, prepare to steal the opponent's Core."

Pro: "Peng!"

 

The starting gun was fired, and the Three Lanes Horizon Valley Match formally began.

3v3, yet neither side moved. Team Modern was still buying equipment for Lu Zhou, Xiang Cheng, and Meng Feng, while Team Ancient, under the leadership of the Qilin-controlled Lü Bu, walked to the edge of the grass, and one by one, they hid in the grass clumps.

Li Qingcheng said, "Qilin, you take the path at the top."

With that, Lü Bu rose, turned in a circle, and left.

Li Qingcheng ordered, "Hongjun, you take the path at the bottom."

Hongjun replied, "I don't know how, I'll just go with you ba."

Li Qingcheng could only give up, and the two of them began to move Li Jinglong and Zhang Mu into hiding together in the grass.

Li Jinglong said, "I suggest that we should take the initiative."

Li Qingcheng replied, "Stay squatting, it's just you that has so much to say."

Hongjun agreed. "That's right. Follow the plan."

 

When Team Modern finished buying equipment, everyone felt very pleased with themselves as they admired all the different kinds of armors and breastplates. Zhou Sheng said, "Red team, hurry up! The battle's begun! Don't waste any more time."

"Alright." Liu Yan shouted out a command, "Everyone move out!"

And with that, Meng Feng took the top lane and Xiang Cheng took the middle one, while Lu Zhou trod the bottom one, each of them heading their own way.

 

Zhou Sheng announced, "The Horizon Valley Match has begun, come, come, come, place your bets. For this round, let's try to guess who will be the ultimate victor. The teams are as follows: Team Modern, with Meng Feng, Xiang Cheng, and Lu Zhou, and Team Ancient, with Zhang Mu, Li Jinglong, and Lü Bu!"

Yu Hao said, "Let's first take a look at the top lane that Meng Feng is fighting through —— which competitor from the enemy's camp will he meet first? This may not be a fair fight."

Pro said, "This clearly is very fair. Team Ancient's battle power is strong, but their controllers are weak chickens; Team Modern's battle power is noob, but as for tactics, they're more familiar with it…"

Zhou Sheng asked, "Are you the host or are we?"

Yu Hao demanded, "How about you do it? Why do you like to interrupt us so much?"

 

"Meng Feng has encountered an enemy!" When Zhou Sheng saw the battle begin, he immediately snatched the opportunity to speak first. "Meng Feng lifts up his 6-barrel rotary cannon, and runs right into Lü Bu! Lü Bu leaps up and shakes the ground… Meng Feng's HP is at less than half! Meng Feng is running, but Lü Bu is giving chase. Meng Feng suddenly speeds up, but Lü Bu leaps right on over!"

Yu Hao remarked, "You seem to have suddenly activated your innate talent as a commentator… Alright, let's take a look at the situation on the other side. Lu Zhou, who took the bottom lane, is currently approaching the opponent's defensive tower without stopping."

Zhou Sheng: "Meng Feng called for help from Lu Zhou!"

The Lu Zhou that was controlled by Xiao Yi turned this way and that, constantly approaching the grass clump that Zhang Mu and Li Jinglong were hidden in as he traveled along the bottom path of the gulch. To one side, Liu Yan was shouting, "Help ah! Help!"

And with that, Xiao Yi had Lu Zhou perform a 180-degree turn to go back and help Meng Feng.

Li Qingcheng: "......"

Hongjun cursed, "Damn it! That one called Lu Zhou was just a little bit away from coming over!"

Li Qingcheng soothed him. "No worries, there will be someone else coming in a bit."

Zhou Sheng said, "Now Lu Zhou has come back to help Meng Feng, and the two of them are beginning an all-out fight with Lü Bu. They've started to kite him, and Lü Bu has already become confused; he doesn't know which one he should fight! Lü Bu chased after Lu Zhou for a bit, but Meng Feng's rapid-fire hit him. Lü Bu then turned to chase Meng Feng, but then he got hit from behind by Lu Zhou's sneak attack of throwing money!"

Lü Bu cried out, "Little Baobei! Fight that critical HP one first! Don't turn anymore!"

 

Yu Hao continued, "Lü Bu has sunk into a bitter battle of one versus two. Now, let us take a look at Xiang Cheng, who took the middle lane. Xiang Cheng has already taken down three of the opponent's defensive towers and is now approaching the enemy's Core!"

Zhou Sheng exclaimed, "Oh my god! While the enemy's rearguard was empty, Xiang Cheng took the opportunity and has already stolen Team Ancient's Cor- stealing the Core?! No way! What kind of rule is this! Are they really stealing it?"

Pro said, "Yes, I have changed the rules from the original one: they must steal the Core and bring it to their own camp for it to be considered a victory."

Yu Hao demanded, "What kind of nonsense is this! Isn't smashing the Core enough to win?"

But just as they were speaking, they saw Chi Xiaoduo approach the Core and press the "A" key, and without another word, Xiang Cheng lifted up the huge Core in Team Ancient's main camp, and immediately turned and ran off.

Yu Hao: "......"

Zhou Sheng: "......"

 

Lü Bu yelled, "Where are the rest of the people on our team? Why is it that from start to end it's been only this laozi fighting!"

Li Qingcheng said, "They're squatting in the grass! You will have to fend for yourself ba!"

Lü Bu had already been beaten to the point of critical HP, and after putting his life on the line, finally, he stabbed Meng Feng one last time, stabbing him back to respawn point, while Lu Zhou was still throwing money non-stop.

Zhou Sheng: "Team Ancient's Lü Bu is facing off in a 1 vs 2 match. As expected, this style is very Lü Bu! Now, let's take a look at that chivalrous hero in the mid lane who has stolen the Core… Oh no, not good! He's been ambushed!"

Carrying the Core, Xiang Cheng passed through the underbrush. The moment that Li Qingcheng had been waiting for finally arrived, and he maneuvered Zhang Mu to rush out from the grass, stabbing Xiang Cheng in the back.

Chi Xiaoduo immediately shouted, "Despicable!"

Xiang Cheng returned to the respawn point with a 'ding,' and Team Ancient's Core fell to the ground and rolled around twice. Li Qingcheng remained calm in the face of danger, turning to Hongjun and said, "You go steal the crystal back, and I'll go steal the enemy's crystal."

And so, Hongjun moved Li Jinglong closer to the Core on the floor and pressed the "A" key. Li Jinglong picked up the Core and carried it back with him.

 

Yu Hao: "The tables have suddenly turned! Can Lü Bu defeat Lu Zhou?"

Lü Bu: "Someone, quickly come help me!"

Zhou Sheng: "Lü Bu, quick! Transform!"

Pro: "You can't transform in this game."

Yu Hao: "Lu Zhou uses a golden brick and smashes it onto Lü Bu's head, taking away Lü Bu's last health point! Lü Bu returns to the respawn point!"

Lu Zhou: "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—— HAHAHAHAHAHA——"

Everyone: "......."

 

Zhou Sheng: "Zhang Mu! Zhang Mu steals Team Modern's Core! He picks up the Core and starts to run with it!"

Yu Hao: "However, at this moment Meng Feng has suddenly revived at his base; he is now chasing after Zhang Mu and opening fire… Now let's take a look at Team Ancient's base. Huh? Hongjun seems to have run the wrong way. Why is Li Jinglong carrying his own team's Core and running towards the enemy?"

"Wrong way!" Li Jinglong yelled, "Hongjun! That way! The opposite direction!"

Hongjun earnestly controlled Li Jinglong, making him run in the direction of Team Modern. Just as Li Jinglong was about to deliver his own team's Core right to the enemy's doorsteps, Lu Zhou burst out gleefully, with Meng Feng following behind him loudly shouting, "Grab the Core!"

Xiang Cheng: "Watch out for an enemy ambush!"

But in that instant, Li Jinglong turned around and started to run away again, with the two people in tow. 

"So clever!" Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao exclaimed together, "Hongjun has lured all the enemies away!"

Hongjun: "Quick! Qilin! It's your husband's turn!"

 

Yu Hao: "Lü Bu has resurrected! While Zhang Mu and Meng Feng are fighting, Lü Bu takes this chance to pick up Team Modern's Core that was abandoned to the side without meeting any resistance! Zhang Mu and Xiang Cheng are still fighting, and Lü Bu takes the Core and runs!! Core! Core! Lü Bu just made a play! At this moment, he's been possessed by the spirit of Qilin, and he isn't fighting this battle alone!"

Zhou Sheng: "Lü Bu takes this chance and carries the Core back!"

Lü Bu placed the Core onto his own team's pedestal. Immediately, the screen began to shake and Team Modern's defense tower began to rumble; it first shot out rays of light before exploding. 

"Victory goes to Team Ancient!" Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng shouted. "What a brilliant counter!"

 

Everyone was sent back to the stage at the same time, looking at each other helplessly.

"Haven't you played enough!" Meng Feng finally exploded and said, "What kind of stupid rules are these!"

"That's right!" Chi Xiaoduo threw his controller, saying, "How can you run around carrying the enemy's Core all over the place?!"

"It's not our fault!" Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng quickly spoke. "We're also victims, don't beat up the commentators just because you've lost! We're also innocent!"

Pro: "Many thanks to everyone for giving us such a fabulous show."

The two teams glared at each other in hostility. 

Lü Bu: "And the wish?"

Pro: "Wait a moment. Be patient, your wish will be granted soon. Next, let's enter the third round…."

"There's still more?!" Everyone exploded, "When will you set us free!"  

Lü Bu: "The wish, ne?"

Pro: "What was promised will be given to you, have no fear. Come, we guarantee this third round will be the last one. Everyone, please sit down and rest for a little while." 

 

Everyone was extremely tired, yet when they turned around to take a seat, there was only one set of chairs. 

"Where do we sit?" Lu Zhou asked. 

Xiao Yi got up to let Lu Zhou sit. Chi Xiaoduo and Hongjun both followed suit getting up to let Li Jinglong and Xiang Cheng sit down, then each sat on their laps. Zhang Mu glanced at Li Qingcheng, gesturing that he didn't have to move and squatted down on his own to the side. 

Liu Yan moved over a little on his chair and squeezed together with Meng Feng. 

To the side, Lü Bu performed a forward lunge, stretching his muscles in preparation for the next fierce battle. 



This chapter is migrated and/or formatted by our fellow chicken enthusiast(s), Cat.

Contributors

Zryuu
keishi

just another chicken in the coop

beansprout

hi i'm beansprout! i hope you enjoy my translations! if you do, you can support feitian on jjwxc or buy me a ko-fi! you can find all my projects here.

yunyun
moon

Translator, writer, avid reader. 吃刀群众.

Jiejie enthusiast.

miri

Bubble tea connoisseur

Elestrea

Your local tree hugger. Come get your tree! They're all lovely = ̄ω ̄=

juurensha

Fic writer, editor, and translator for GHOFD, PUBG, Fanservice Paradox, and other projects.

jelly

yolk heathen

cytaoplasm

人生在世,必读夺梦和乱世为王

opal

filled with regret

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